What Happens in The Dark
by Only1ToniD
Summary: SO once again the muse is getting sidetracked and I find myself deviating from my original plans... My muse is actually so dead set on me working these stories that I'm finding myself blocked on everything else. This is a Blackout Rewrite!
1. Chapter 1: Soulmate Telepathy

**Author's Note:** I know I shouldn't, but here's yet another story that my muse was determined to start! You guys are gonna kill me! I just know it! This is based on what I think should have transpired the night of The Blackout… Others have written their versions, too… So I don't know why my muse has suddenly shanghaied me with this story, but it HAS! Review and tell me if you want me to continue… Maybe getting at least one or two scenes out will help me refocus elsewhere.

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><p><strong>What Happens in The Dark<strong>

I was about to board the plane to Africa when I felt it. I had Morgan's hand in mine and Michael was walking a few steps ahead when I felt it. It was a pain I'd only felt once before… when I caused it. I mean I'd felt similar pains and even that first was worse than this, but the pain I felt in my heart in the moment before we boarded our flight was the closest to that day in November of 1999 I'd ever felt. "Jason."

Morgan frowned up at me as I stumbled and Michael stopped and turned around. "Mom? Is something wrong with Uncle Jason?"

The little boy knew few things in this world better than anything. At the top of that list were his mom, his Uncle Jason, and the bond they shared. He knew if something was wrong with Uncle Jason, she would know, but not just that, she would be there to help try to fix it. She had brought his Uncle Jason home more than once and his Uncle Jason had done the same with his mom.

"I think so, but I also think your Uncle Jason needs me more than Jax right now. Is it ok if we postpone our trip until tomorrow and you go spend the night with your Grandma?" I look down at my son trying to focus through the pain.

"Sure, Mom," Michael assures her causing Morgan to nod in agreement. "You just make sure Uncle Jase is ok."

"Yeah, let's take of Uncle Jason!" Morgan squealed as always thrilled to see the man who he loved more than anyone else except Momma and Michael… even his dad.

"Not _us_, squirt," Michael said with a kind of affectionate exasperation only older brothers can master. He ruffled Morgan's hair. "Mom's gonna take care of Uncle Jason and we're gonna keep Grandma company. Cool?"

"Cool!" Morgan shouted. "Let's go!"

As we turned around to go back, I looked down at the incredible little boy I'd had the pleasure to love and raise. "Thanks, Mr. Man."

He grinned, sheepishly. "It's no big deal! Uncle Jason would do the same for us, right Mom?"

"Absolutely right, Mr. Man." I shared a grin with my son until a new spasm struck. "Always and forever."

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><p>I stepped off the elevator with some trepidation only to have all of the lights go out seconds later. "Great!" I scoffed, opening my clutch to grab my keys. Lucky for me after the little train incident, Jason gave me a flashlight for my keychain. I use it and before I can insert my key, I notice the door is not only unlocked, but slightly open. <em>NOT GOOD!<em> is all I can think. I let myself in and before I can say a word, I see bottles of beer covering the floor leading to where Jason stands staring out over Port Charles taking swigs from a bottle of tequila. _UH-OH! This is BAD! Really, __**really**__ bad!_

"You know, logically I figured you'd be somewhere over the Atlantic with the boys by now, but considering logic has never had anything to do with our relationship, I'm not the least bit surprise to see you're here," he said never turning around.

I frowned, hearing the slight slur in his words. Normally, I would go for the sympathetic ear, but something tells me he's not ready to break down just yet. "For your information, our relationship is perfectly logical. As is the reason I'm here. We're soulmates," I explain trying to sound as unaffected as possible while feeling the pain radiating from his dejected form. "I felt your pain and knew you needed me. Just like you always do for me. Or would, if I would just wait for you to come to me."

"Ah! You're right. Based on Carly-logic, EVERYTHING about us makes sense except for the fact that we're not together," he growls unaware of the direct hit he'd unconsciously scored. "If only the world could always run on Carly-logic."

I swallow my pain, knowing the slight was unintentional on his part and unimportant compared to what he was experiencing. "Hey! That's what I've been saying for years! Glad you're finally coming over to my way of thinking. It's about time." Having made my way to his side, I reach out to touch his back. Hesitating only slightly, I rest my hand at the base of his neck.

His body melts into my touch and he turns to face me. "How or why it happened that you're here, I could really care less at the moment. I am just glad you are here, Carly," he moaned, wrapping me in his arms.

I gasped fighting tears as I took some of his weight as he leaned into me, squeezing until I was breathless. "Who do I have to murder, maim, or mutilate for this? Because no one gets away with hurting my Jase."

His response is somewhere between a laugh and a sigh, exploding from his chest. "Thank God you're here. I was actually afraid _I_ might do something stupid this time," he grimaced, pulling back to look at me.

"What happened, Jase?" I ask gently.

"What always happens, Carly?" he begins only to be cut off by a knock at the door.

We look at the door and he turns back to give me a look before pulling away. I nod. "Got it. You're not accepting visitors unless it's an emergency. Go hide." He smirks at me. "Yeah, yeah. Telepathy is one of our soulmate powers. Don't worry. I won't tell anyone that my best friend the Great Jason Morgan hid like a little girl. We both have a rep to protect: YOURS!" He tossed me a glare as I continued to the door. The knock sounded again. "You know I'm kidding. Now get out of sight so I can get rid whoever this is already."

I glanced at Jase as he walked into the kitchen to avoid being seen by the person knocking. I opened the door prepared to get rid of the untimely intruder only to find to my utter surprise that of all the people it could be, it was little Elizabeth Webber. Scratch that. It's _supposed_ to be Elizabeth Spencer since my idiot cousin married her. Supposed to be seems to be the operative word. Looks like she was about to try to pull Jason back into her absurd little triangle with my cousin again. _Well you're certainly in luck tonight, Jase! 'Cause once again it's Carlybabes to the rescue!_

"Can I help you?" I ask politely, blocking the door completely.

"I'm here to see Jason, Carly," she sneers. "Move."

I laugh incredulously. "I don't know who you _think_ you are, but let's set the record straight here. This is _Jason's_ penthouse, which _I_ have a key to, since _I'm_ his _best_ friend. _You_ are the tramp who used to try to yank his chain while calling yourself his friend. You _get_ no special privileges. Any you might have earned by saving his life, you lost by treating him at best like an afterthought and at worst like gum to be scraped off your shoe. And you did it in favor of scum like Ric Lansing or an idiot like your precious permanent lock buddy, Lucky. So to recap, this is _MY_ best friend's penthouse, you don't tell me what to do here—or anywhere else for that matter—and you don't automatically get access just because you want it. Now, if you are officially reconciled with reality, why don't you traipse your worthless ass back down the twenty flights of stairs you climbed to get here and give your best friend Emily a chance to live up to her title. Hell, go see Robin or Patrick or one of your other GH buddies if you're nervous about sailing to WyndeWeird in a blackout. All I know is you ain't gotta go home, but you gotta get the hell outta here!"

"Jason," Lizzie Lipgloss tried to continue, but I cut her off

"Told me to get rid of whoever was at the door unless it was an emergency. Sorry, honey, but you don't rate." I grab the door. "Bye now," I cheerfully add with a sweet smile before slamming it in her face. I watch through the peephole as she pouts at the door for a few seconds before crossing her arms and turning toward the staircase in a huff. I grin and do my happy dance before turning to find Jason smirking at me as he sipped his beer. "Jase!" I gasp in surprise, embarrassment and humor.

"Did you have to enjoy that so much?" he asks with a chuckle. I open my mouth to respond. "Don't bother saying your sorry because I know you won't mean it."

"I would! If I thought you were upset by it," I answer indignantly gaining one of those looks. "In that, I would be sorry you were upset. But you're not so neither am I."

"Carly." He chuckles coming closer.

"What?" I can't help laughing as I meet him halfway.

He wraps an arm around me. "Thank you."

"What? For getting rid of Little Lizzie Lipgloss? Oh, please! Anytime! Matter of fact, I'd pay for the pleasure of doing that again!" I grin, snuggling closer.

He chuckles, his eyes becoming serious. "For always being there when I need you most. For making me laugh when I wasn't sure I could be happy again."

"Come on, Jase," I answer with a soft smile as I caress his cheek. "Where else would I be? You're my family, and you taught me that family always comes first."

He stared into my eyes his look changing to my astonishment to something I hadn't seen in too many years to count. "We taught each other." With that, his mouth descended to mine and took control. As the kiss deepened, my body ignited as it recognized who was taking over… My Jason. I had thought this part of him was dead, killed by my betrayal. Now, I realized it had simply been in a coma, but suddenly, He had awakened to take back what was His: ME.

**~TO BE CONTINUED~**


	2. Chapter 2: Flying Away on Memories

**Author's Note:** Ok, guys! You have spoken and I'm back with more! Thanks to all my readers, but especially those reviewers! What's an author with out an audience and I'm just glad you're enjoying it!

Warning dear reader: This chapter may contain... shall we say suggestive scenes... and for those of you, who are staunch womens libbers... you may not exactly love everything Carly has to say... then again that should be nothing new...

Anyway, you may get a little annoyed with me for this chapter because… I'm sorry I couldn't just go with the obvious route! Part of what I adore about Carly is her twisted logic. It keeps Jarly interesting as a couple when so many of their other pairings fall flat. You've got your left brain, straightforward, organized thinker(probably because AJ took out a big chunk of his right brain in the accident) and this crazy, pretzelly, right-brained plotter. Throw them together and you've got… 24 points of perfection! Lol (I'd like to see how JaSam fairs in the same testing! Just saying.)

So, if you hate me now for this, feel free to tell me. LOL I'm going for a walk thru Jason's brain next chapter… Which is always fun! Luv ya and ENJOY!

**P.S ~ Don't expect any consistency in chapter length. It's just gonna depend on the muse! I've got a little too much right brain activity to be that organized... :)**

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><p><strong>What Happens in The Dark<strong>

I stared out the window, my mind running back home while Michael and Morgan leaned against the opposite window trying to see what sites were visible from the air. My boys were thrilled about seeing Africa. Although, they were a little disappointed that it wouldn't be Jason showing them the many fascinations he had taught them about, they were planning to tell him all about when we returned. God, going to Africa was supposed to be about saving jax, but how could I let myself forget that this was supposed to be our family's someday trip… Me, the boys, and Jason. Thinking about what could have been with Jason My mind conjures one memory after another...

_Bobbie laughs, "Looks like he's having the time of his life."_

"_He was," I agreed. "I mean, we all did. Michael loved the-the beaches and the water and everything. And AJ was-was the perfect tour guide-slash-romantic partner."_

_Bobbie watched me as I refused to make eye contact. "Hmm. And you? What were you?"_

_I cleared throat, and tried to figure out how to explain while avoiding another argument. "Hawaii's really, mmm, paradise, you know."_

"_Carly—"_

"_I've never been any place that romantic, you know," I admitted, helplessly. "So if every sunset and every beach made me think of Jason, so what? It didn't hurt anybody. I was the only person who knew." I lifted my chin defensively, preparing to take whatever she threw at me. "We just never had anything like that. We never had vacations and moonlight and romantic dinners, walks in the—we never had the-the enjoyable things, you know, the easy ones. Only the hard stuff. It just doesn't seem fair."_

_Fair. Fair. Fair._ As the word echoed through my mind another conversation took over my brain.

_Lila rolled into the room. "I thought I heard someone in here. Would you prefer to be alone?"_

"_Of course not, Lila. I always enjoy hangin' out with you," I reassured her tearily coming to sit in front of her chair._

_Lila smiles gently. "Even when you've been crying?"_

_I look away drying my tears. "I was just looking at garden." _Where Jason first walked away from our family, _I thought. "The last roses are blooming. I remember you telling me that the prettiest ones always bloom before the frost. I hate thinking of the rose garden barren and desolate. The house surrounded by snow. It was like that when I came here last year and it's so… isolated. It just feels like you can never get away."_

_She watches me carefully. "Do you want to get away?"_

Only Lila would ask that question without an ounce of accusation._ "I shouldn't. This is everything I ever wanted… when I was a kid. I used to cut out magazine pictures of, you know, houses and jewelry and clothes—and always told myself that I would be married to the perfect man." I began picturing the perfect man. In his dark suit with no tie. Tan skin. brown hair. Piercing blue eyes. "He'd be rich and powerful and—I promised myself I would be powerful… someday. That I would always dress right and act right. I just thought that was what mattered, you know. I though it mattered more than it does." I take a deep breath and tried to rationalize my decision to be in that house. "Except Michael, he seems happy here, doesn't he?"_

_Lila raised an eyebrow slightly, and answered carefully, "He seems to be."_

"_And that should be enough, shouldn't it?" I asked discouraged. "If my child is happy, then I should just let go of the things that I can't have?" I take a breath remembering the little things I missed the most. "How it feels to play pool and slow dance to the jukebox. Or watch somebody come out of the water holding my baby and know that I gave him the best." I come back to reality clutching my hankie tears streaming down my face. "I'm not making sense, am I?"_

"_My dear, I understand you perfectly," she assured me with her gentle smile._

_I wipe my face before emerging with a self-deprecating smile. "You know what? I think you do. And you don't even seem to hate me for it. You're like him, you know. I mean, you're really like him. You're a great listener with a beautiful heart. You would never do half the things I've done in a million years, but you seem to know or you seem to understand why I did them. I'm more like Edward, you know." I grinned at her noting the twinkle in her eye. _Maybe that's what she sees in me—why she likes me so much._ "Whereas I've always got some sort of scheme or a plan or I'm always gearing up to fight over something that half the time once I get it, I don't even want it." I pause and asked gently, "He's hurt you a lot, hasn't he? Edward?"_

_She smiles ruefully, "From time to time."_

"_Well, you know what? He didn't mean to. He just—he just knows that you're so much stronger than he is and so much more true to yourself that he made the mistake of thinking that because you could understand what he did that you couldn't be hurt by it." The tears began falling again. "See the thing is you forgave Edward and the two of you got to try again. But what if you never got that chance? What if love never came back and all you were left with was this house and the jewelry and the little tiny bit of hope that maybe, you were doing the right thing for your child? Could you stay? Could you be happy?" I begged her to give me hope._

_But she was honest to the end. "I can't answer you that, dear. You see, I'm married to the man I love." _

_And I never have._ I jolted as the words whisper through my mind unbidden. _Of course, I did. I loved Sonny… sort of._ As I fight that thought, another memory takes hold. One far more recent.

_I pulled back long enough to try to regain some kind of sanity. "Wait, wait, wait. What happened? WHY, Jase?" I ask desperately._

"_I've loved two women more than I ever thought possible and lost them both because I pushed them away," he begins explaining, breathing harshly. "The first was and will always be the one I loved the most. She slept with my best friend." His intense blue gaze seared through me like a laser, slicing my heart. "The second slept my worst enemy, Ric Lansing, tonight."_

_My mouth dropped. "Sam." As soon as her name left my lips, I regretted speaking. I could feel fresh pain and torment, pour from his heart, and see it fill his eyes. I caressed his face. "You've never lost me and you __**never**__ will. No matter how hard you push me away, I'll always be standing right here by your side. It's the only place I've ever truly belonged. Don't you know I'd do anything for you—be anything for you?"_

"_Can you be mine tonight?" he rasped, lifting his hand to brush a strand of hair from my face._

"_I've never really been anything else, but yours. But if you need me to say it, I always have been yours and I always will be yours in anyway you want me and for however long you want me that way," I whispered, pressing kisses all over his face._

"_I need all of you tonight, Carly," he groaned. I responded by kissing him with all of the passion I had in my soul, determined to heal him with the bottomless well of love I been saving for him alone all of my life. As he returned my kiss, I felt his arms band around, lifting me; I instinctively wrapped my legs around him as he carried me to the pool table._

_When his mouth tore from mine, journeying down my neck, I whispered, "It's yours. You can have me tonight and always. I'll do or be anything for you." I lost my breath for a moment as his teeth found purchase on that sensitive spot that only he ever found. "Please," I moaned. "I just want to make you feel good again."_

_Jason pulled back, eliciting a groan of need, as he reaffixed his gaze on mine. The heat in his eyes was enough to scorch his name on my soul—if his name wasn't already permanently engraved there. That sexy smile I'd missed so much began taking over his face stealing my breath yet again. "We're gonna start here on the pool table. I saved it just for you to christen it." His words sent a jolt like fire through my veins. "Then, we're going to make love in every inch of this penthouse. I want to fill this place so full of us that neither of us can ever enter a room again with feeling the other. can I have you like that?" he growled, pulling the tie on the wrap dress I had changed into for the flight. Who knew when I was thinking about comfort on the 12-hour flight, it would pay dividends. Shivers of delight and craving raced through my body until all I could say in my desperation was "Finally."_

"Mom?" my son's voice interrupted my thoughts causing me to fight a blush as I turned back into a mom.

"Yeah, Mr. Man," I answer as nonchalantly as possible.

"Are you sure Uncle Jason is ok?" he asks full of concern. "I know you were worried about him. you took really good care of him, right? You made him feel good again, right?"

Such innocent questions that caused such delicious images to try to overtake my mind. _Oh, son you have no idea!_ "Of course! I made your Uncle Jason feel better than he has in years," I reassured him. _That sex had been so amazing I was tempted to ask if it was tantric!_ "You know, I always your Uncle Jason my best. Last nigh was no different. I made sure he had a smile on his face all night long, honey." I had to fight the cat-that-ate-the-canary grin that was threatening my composure as the image of Jason's shit-eating grin as he broke me in all the right places until I could only whimper. I still managed to beg for more.

"He'll be ok while we're gone, right, Mom?" he asked, his interest weaning as his worries eased. He began glancing over at Leticia and Morgan looking at something in a book.

"Would I ever leave your Uncle Jason if I wasn't absolutely sure he was ok? He was still smiling when I left this morning," I told Michael.

"Good," he approved with a nod. "I don't want Uncle Jason to be sad. Me and Morgan are gonna make him a scrap book while we're in Africa, that's just for him. And next time we'll do it together as a family; even dad can come if he wants."

With that said, he rejoined his brother and nanny while my mind turned back to leaving the penthouse only hours before.

_I woke up wrapped in Jason's arms with a smile I couldn't have removed with the best plastic surgery money could by, not that I cared to. Feeling him shift onto his back, I rolled onto my stomach to enjoy the rare pleasure of watching this incredible man, my Jason, sleep. My heart soared at the sight of his beautiful face so peaceful, so serene,... so smiling. _That smile is ALL me_. Feeling love and hope well in my chest, I pressed a kiss into his chest as I let images of the most incredible night of my life control my brain. It had been a night of firsts. I smirked, still unable to believe we'd killed a box and a half of condoms. The man was insatiable. _THANK GOD!

_I reluctantly rolled out bed careful as I tried to stand. I felt a million unused and underused muscles scream at me for the abuse. The things that man could do to a woman... I only remembered three-quarters of that from our old days at Jake's. _I hate to think who taught him the rest, but my Lord, if the man ever wanted to turn pro he could teach porn stars and gigolos the world over a thing or twelve. No one since Jake's has ever hurt me so good. _I stretched very carefully before standing to make my way to his bathroom. I detoured to his closet planning to grab one of his shirts, when I saw something that stopped me short and brought reality careening into view. Clothing fit for a pixie. Sam's clothing obviously. I quietly checked his drawers as well and found more. In that moment, his words from last night hit me._

_"I was actually afraid I might do something _**_stupid_**_ this time."_

_"Can I have you _**tonight**_?"_

_"I need all of you _**_tonight_**_."_

_As the words 'stupid' and 'tonight' echoed through my head, I began feeling like an idiot. I was the 'something stupid' he did because it was clear that last night was just that. And there I was again, building up this grand romance in my head where none existed. The man was on the rebound and as his best friend, I knew that better than anyone. This was always supposed to end with the sunrise. I looked out the window at the dawn of a new day, and let myself mourn, like Lainey taught me. I remembered her telling I had a right to my emotions no matter how irrational others believed they were. I'd just lost the best thing I never had one more time, and still I couldn't regret our night together._

_As I wiped away my tears, a new resolve hit me and I began dressing clearing the apartment of all evidence of my- _WHAT THE HELL? Who rips a bra in half? _Suddenly, the memory of that moment runs through my mind and a smile drifted across my face and I thought,_ There are other bras. Maybe more men should try it._ Unfortunately, his haste required me to take my walk of (anything but) shame braless, a feat I hadn't attempted since my 20s. That was back when I was always looking for trouble w/a certain blue-eyed hottie. _Maybe if I'd kept at it, I could have worn him down. Nah, that damn 'Jason Quartermaine/Dudley Do-Right' instinct that drew him to his endless line of pixies would have ruined any chance of that.

_Looking back over the penthouse that now held my most incredible memories, I hesitated to go. _One more look can't hurt._ I ran up the stairs as quietly as possible and took long last look at the most amazing man I'd ever had the pleasure of knowing. He still had that smile, but now he was reaching towards my empty place in the bed. I played with the tie of my wrap dress so tempted to rejoin him. So I shook myself, pulled that image into the deepest, most hidden recesses of my heart, and I bolted silently._

He had looked so cozy and peaceful. I just wanted to roll around in that bed with him forever. Thank goodness, sanity returned before I screwed things up irreparably. And all because of these crazy dreams of us together that I could never just let go of. But that was the last thing Jason needed: more complications in a complicated life. I would never take advantage of him that way, but I certainly know who would have. Thank God I was there to keep that little tramp Lizard from sinking her claws into my Jase. He must be the most naive enforcer on the planet because I just know if I wasn't there he would have fallen for her 'woe is me' routine. Lord knows what would have come from that considering how fertile the little thing is... She could procreate w/a rock and a drunken, needy Jase would have fallen right into her snare with her swearing she never meant for it to happen. Please! You don't climb twenty flights of stairs in a blackout for a shoulder to cry on... especially when that shoulder is tall, gorgeous, chiseled with incredible blue eyes and a blind spot for pixies in distress. She would have pulled another Snow White just like Robin did all those years ago and screwed w/Jase's head six ways to Sunday.

Thankfully, I arrived just in time to dodge that bullet and save the day... no strings attached. Well, no new ones anyway. So what if I have to get over a few dreams again. I'm on my way to Africa with my boys and there's a gorgeous, successful, great guy there waiting for me... sort of, maybe. For once, I did the right thing and didn't ask for more than he could give. I was a true friend. I put my life on hold to take care of him until he could deal with what comes next without drowning in the pain. Then, I left him to work out the rest on his own. I mean, I'm only a phone call away if he needs me so... Who am I kidding?

No point in lying to myself. My reasons were definitely at least partially selfish. One, I didn't think I could handle being his rebound fling, if I had to watch him reconcile with Sam. Just need a little space for that one. Two, not really in a headspace to hear him explain away our night together as anything less than the earth-shattering experience it was. And three, I'm not sure if I would be strong enough to remain unselfish, if I had to do it while looking into his soul-piercing eyes or hearing that voice without an ocean between us. It's true. I'm weak when it comes to Jason. So I ran away and thanked God for the timing of this trip abroad. The phone beside me rang, jolting me out of my thoughts. I knew exactly who it would be before I answered. Still I was not prepared for what he said.

"Why?"

**~TO BE CONTINUED~**


	3. Chapter 3: Left to Deal

**Author's Note:** Ok, guys! Here is something you should know about me… I'm big on history! I think a character and/or their relationships live and die by their history. If it's richly built and truly tells a story then it can really give life to or kill so many avenues in a story. When writing about Jarly, I tend to get very nostalgic so you may get a little annoyed with me for inserting what I feel may be relevant pieces of canon and non-canon history. This chapter is chock full of walks down memory lane! I've really needed Jason to give them a genuine post-mortem and acknowledge his past and all of the mistakes he made instead of letting Carly always smooth things over by taking all the blame and allowing him to shirk all responsibility he should have for the things that went wrong. If they ever got another shot, I would want it to be forever. Not just something slapped together for the ratings spike (i.e. Liason, JaSam 2.0, S&B 2010-11). I would expect them to keep what makes Jarly interesting as a couple while dealing with the issues so often glossed over so things don't later just fall apart. Anyway, feel free to tell me what you think of my walk thru Jason's brain. Next chapter we're gonna make Carly deal… long distance or not! Love you all and ENJOY!

**What Happens in The Dark**

She was gone. Even though I was drowning in the scent of her hair and skin and I could still faintly taste her on my tongue, I knew, even as I reached for her she was gone. I always slept my best w/ her, which was stupid b/c she always ran away from me... She was forever afraid to hold too tightly because she was afraid of me... no, she was afraid of me walking away from her again. She probably made up some reason in her head why her leaving was all for my sake. That was Carly... the one who always got away. After I pushed too hard for the wrong thing of course.

I thought I had finally gotten it back last night, but I had a twenty I would bet she was on a flight over the Atlantic right now w/ our boys. HER boys. Why did she always do that? What did I do wrong this time? I thought she finally understood. I thought she really wanted me, even after all of my mistakes. She said she did, but maybe I wasn't clear enough w/ her. She always said she could read me better than anyone... and she was right. She knew my heart even when I couldn't speak it. No when I wouldn't. Now how could I ever expect her to believe me... But last night... images of her impossibly deep eyes overflowing w/ love as we made love that final time haunted me. Suddenly her words from an earlier conversation.

"_It's painful for me to admit that Sam has made you happier than I ever did—not that I ever really had a chance."_

My mind fast-forwards to later in our conversation.

"_This is not gonna help Sam. It's gonna destroy her." We sit—me in a chair, Carly on the couch. "Does Sam like herself, Jason?"_

"_What?"_

"_Does she think she's good or loving or worthwhile? Or does she think she's trash—who always got left and always will? Does she think she deserves you? Or are you some unexplained miracle that just showed up in her life, and she always knew it was just too good to last? Because if that's the case you've proved her right. You've proved every bad thing that Sam has ever thought about herself to be true."_

"_No," I respond, getting up and moving away. Adamantly not wanting to believe that of Sam—or Carly._

"_Yeah, you have," she asserts following me. "And see, the difference is, see, I have a secret weapon. That's why no matter how many times I fall I can always get back up. That's why I can get on a plane and chase half way around the world a guy who may not even love me." She stares me down until I look at her. "Because I have you. And I know that no matter how bad things get or how wrong I am or how badly I screw up. You're always gonna come find me. And you're always gonna catch me when I fall." She paused, letting her words sink in. "So I have you. Who does Sam have? Who is she if you don't love her, Jason?"_

It finally registered what she had been saying was about more than just me and Sam. She knew what I was doing to Sam because long before Sonny ever had a chance I did the same thing to her. I was the one who made her believe she was enough by just being herself. Then pushed her away again. Memories once again took control. The memories of building her up were the first to hit me.

"_So is that why you brought me here? To reward me?" she said shifting nervously with something like hope in her eyes. as I check out _

"_Reward you?" I cross my arms. "What are you? You're not a dog. No. Actually I brought you because I knew you'd probably follow me."_

"_AJ rewards me," Carly admitted sheepishly. "And you're right. I'm kinda like a pet, I guess." She turned toward the bed deep in thought. "Tony used to do it, too. It was like they had this role that they needed me to play." She sat down with this faraway look in her eyes. "As long as I played it really good, they'd pat me on the head. Nobody ever tried to see me, ever." The smile started to spread across her face slowly as she looked up at me. "Until I met this one guy... He was this stranger guy, you know? And he lived in a place that was a lot like this... And the first time I met him, and I slept with him... He didn't even ask my name. I'll tell you something. I think I knew, even then, that he would be the only person that ever knew me."_

It was such a simple thing, seeing the beauty in Carly, not despite her crazy, chaotic ways, but because of them.

_I walked up behind her and let my hand rest on her shoulder. When she saw me, she chuckled in relief. "You worry too much."_

_She ignored my comment and laughed through the tears. "How did you like my mom's show? And I do mean show. People are gonna be talkin' about that forever."_

"_Doesn't seem to bother Bobbie too much. Why should it bother you?" I asked genuinely curious._

"_Maybe Bobbie doesn't care what people think," she said before giving me a look. "Maybe you don't either, but I do. I made a fool out of myself tonight."_

_I frowned in confusion. "How? By being the daughter of somebody unlucky enough to—"_

"_No," she cut me off. "By thinking I could ever be on the same grounds as somebody like Amanda Barrington." She gets this faraway look in her eyes before continuing wistfully, "She's this great lady, Jase. She was handing out invitations and smiling at the things that I said, and I thought it was me. I'm charming, and I'm special. And you know what she was thinking the whole time? My dear old friend Edward's grandson married trash. Trash. And I don't blame Bobbie for that. I blame myself… for forgetting who I am. Who I've always been. Who I will always be." She lets her head fall dejectedly. I gently brush a tear away._

_I shake my head that she could be so oblivious to how great she was. "You tell me, has Amanda Barrington ever fought like a wild animal for her kid?" She chuckled, shaking her head no. "Hmm?"_

"_Probably not," she admits with the beginnings of a smile._

_I ducked my head closer to hers to make sure she was listening to me. "Has she ever turned the great Dr. Evans at Ferncliffe red and made steam come out of his ears?"_

"_Definitely not," she outright laughed._

"_Did she whack a probable rapist with a tire iron outside of Jake's in the alley?" I said full of humor._

"_Did I?" she quips back. I raise an eyebrow giving her a look. She smiles and nods._

"_So you tell me which one is the great lady?" I finished staring into those endless chocolate eyes._

But could I ever just build her up and let her know how much I loved her. Nope. She was always fighting for my heart, my love, my attention, my affection, my respect, something all because I was never man enough to tell it was always hers. It finally registered why we could never work in the past. Carly needed—still needs the security of knowing someone can love every party of her and not turn away. Every stupid thing she ever did was when she was scared. How had I missed my part in that insecurity for so long? _Because Carly never called you out. She never allowed you your fair share of blame because of the fear she would lose what little part she had left of your heart. _Another memory took over my mind.

"_You hear that?" she demanded on the verge of tears._

"_What happened?" I asked setting my gift aside._

_She shook her head. "I came here to help Bobbie with the decorations. I made a bad joke. She thought I was fighting with her. I can't do anything right," she cried helplessly. "I didn't-I didn't mean to do anything wrong. I mean even when I try it comes out wrong. I just—" I stepped closer and she dropped her face to my chest. My arms immediately wrapped around her, and I held her until she could get herself back under control. "Thanks. What're doing here?" she asked pulling back sheepishly as she tried to regain her composure._

_I turned away to grab the white paper & ribbon wrapped package. "I brought Bobbie her gift."_

_That brought a smile to her face as she quipped, "Well, I'm sorry I missed you shopping for it."_

_I shook my head and let a little smile show. "I just did what you said. I went to Wyndham's. I asked what Bobbie didn't have and ordered it."_

_Her smile falls immediately. "What Bobbie doesn't have is a husband—a man that she should actually be marrying."_

"_Is that what the fight was about?" I asked trying to hide the cause for my concern. _

"_I've been telling her since the day she got engaged to Jerry that he was the wrong guy." She threw up her hands and continued defensively, "I didn't say a word today. I kept my mouth shut. And she blew the roof over an innocent remark!"_

"_Where'd she go?"_

"_I don't know!" she huffed, a pout firmly in place on her face. "She ran out of here. She was so mad. I didn't come here to fight with her. I really didn't, but you know, I'm right about Jerry. Same way I'm right about Hannah. I just know."_

"_Look, if you feel that way, it's a good thing you warned her," I assured her earnestly._

_She sighed dejectedly, "The truth of the matter is she's marrying this guy tomorrow. There's nothing I can do to stop it so I just have to let it go." I couldn't withhold my scoff. She grinned at my reaction. "What? What are you implying? That I don't know how to quit?"_

"_You haven't yet," I returned moving closer._

_She leaned into me and whispered seductively, "But that's not a problem for you, right?"_

"_Not always," I acknowledge, so tempted to take that mouth that had haunted me. Suddenly, the moment ended with Bobbie's arrival._

As one memory ended, I was assaulted by another.

_Tears began to fall as she asked incredulously, "You're dumping me, right? You're dumping me?"_

"_Come on, Car. You're married to somebody else," I sighed._

"_I don't care!" she retorted._

"_Well, you—you have to sneak around," I explained. "You lie to AJ. You lie to Michael."_

_She cut me off, "I don't lie to Michael!"_

"_Well, you will if—if things stay the way they are." I added derisively, "Even AJ's gonna catch on."_

"_I can take care of AJ," she assured me in tears._

"_I can't let you do it, Carly," I said unable to keep hiding my distress. "I can't turn around and wonder if you're gonna be there. Here. At the warehouse. With no warning."_

"_Aren't you ever glad to see me?" she whimpered. _

"_Yes," I admitted. "But then I have to let you go again. Until you show up the next time, then I have to let you go all over again. And I can't—I can't do it."_

"_Well, we can work something out," she begged. "I can call before I come. I can send smoke signals."_

"_Carly!" I barked. "Don't come up with anymore plans."_

"_I'd do anything to be with you," she whimpered brokenly._

"_Will you leave AJ?" She nodded without hesitation. "Will you drag Michael thru another custody fight?" She looked down in shame before staring at me in apology. I nodded my acknowledgment of her bittersweet decision, knowing I loved her more because of what she was willing to sacrifice for Michael._

_She hesitated as I led her to the door. "Jason?" When I looked up, she continued her voice breaking. "I love you. And I know you hate it when I say that. I know it doesn't mean the same thing to you as it does to me, but I know that—I know that you love me, too. And I'll always love you." She reached up to take my face in her hands. _Looking back, if I had just gone with my instinct and made love to her then, our lives might be different now._ I had to push her away to end the hug for both of us. "God, I love you. Sorry."_

"_It's ok. You have to go home."_Those words spoken in that moment had never been true again.

_We walked hand in hand to the elevator before I stepped back. "Aren't you going to give me any money for a cab?" I reached into my pocket and pulled out some money and placed it in her hand before turning it over and kissing it with all of the love I had been wanting to give to her. Her control broke again she leaned into kiss me while fighting a sob. I physically held her away from me. "I'm sorry." Suddenly, the elevator arrived carrying A.J._

I felt a tear trail down my cheek as I relived the moment. Suddenly, my phone rang and I was pulled back to the present. I looked at the caller ID and frowned. _What could she possibly want?_ I knew there was only one way to find out. "Hi, Liz."

Liz whined, _"Jason. Hi. I-I came by last night, bu-but Carly—"_

"I know, Liz. I told Carly I didn't want any visitors," he explained cutting her off. "She said she'd get rid of any if they came by. I'm sorry if she upset you, but I needed some time alone with my best friend."

_"O-oh. Well, Jason, I—"_ She hesitated and sighed sadly. _"I just really needed a friend and I was hoping it could be you, but I understand if you were too busy."_

_Why would she say it like that? Am I supposed to feel guilty?_ "Are you ok? What about Emily? Did something happen to her? Is that why you came by so late instead of going to her?" I asked.

_"No,"_ she snapped before her voice smoothed out. _"I needed a friend and I thought we were that at least, but—"_

"Yeah, we're friends," I assured. Even as the words left my mouth, Carly's words the night before began swirling through my mind. She had so many other friends, including Emily. _Why me, suddenly?_ "What happened last night?"

_"I found out that Lucky was cheating on me with Maxie,"_ she sniffled._ "He's got a problem with drugs and Maxie has been taking advantage of it._"

"Wow," I breathed. "I'm sorry. I know that had to hurt."

"I just needed to know I wasn't all alone in the world last night," she whispered breathily. Suddenly, my mind went to my night shared with Carly and I tried to imagine how I would have reacted if Liz had been there instead._ No differently_, I realized with self-disgust. _Except that with Carly it meant more, and with Liz, it would have simply been about drowning out the pain_. "Did you find that friend?" I asked curiously.

She paused before answering_, "Yeah, I ran into Patrick. He was really upset about a fight he had with Robin. We bonded and found we could really lean on each other."_

_Sounds like a euphemism for having sex to me._ "I'm glad you found someone you could trust to help you through the night." Suddenly, a knock at the door drew my attention. "Look, I'm sorry, but there's someone at the door. I've gotta go."

_"I understand, but Jason?" _she simpered.

"Yeah?" I answered already distracted as I moved toward the door.

_"Could I maybe come by later?"_ she asked hesitantly. _"If I need someone to talk to you know."_

"Maybe," I answered strangely unwilling to commit to spending time with her. "It depends. I may go for a ride—"

_"I could use a ride,"_ she interjected quickly, almost desperately.

"For work. Sorry," I lie. "Maybe another time. I'm at the door so I'll talk to you later."

I vaguely hear her response before saying a quick "Bye" and hanging up. I swing open the door hoping I was wrong about Carly leaving.

"Jason," she whispers in greeting. _I wasn't__._

"Hi, Sam," I responded stoically trying to hide my disappointment and disgust. I turn and walk farther into the living, needing my space.

"I'm leaving, Jason, but before I do, there's something that you need to know," Sam whispered weakly. "I slept with Ric."

It hurt, but more than any pain, I felt sense of confusion and relief. _Shouldn't this hurt more? With Carly, seeing her after she slept with Sonny hurt more than the bullet wound had._ "I know," I acknowledge before looking down then up into her eyes. In that moment, I felt guilt because I had done this... first to Carly and now to Sam.

"You know? What you mean you know?"

"Uh. I was at the Lakehouse then night of the blackout. I saw- you and Ric together."

"I really don't understand what you would be doing at the Lakehouse."

"I was actually coming to tell that I'd been," I scoffed, "wrong to push you away."

"You came to the Lakehouse to tell me that you had been wrong about us."

"Yeah."

"Yeah? Wait a minute, Jason, I'm trying to understand all of this. You were going to admit that you still love me and you wanted me to move back home with you."

I nodded feeling pain and guilt well then trying to shake it off. "It didn't happen so what difference does it make."

"It makes a difference to me. It makes a difference to me. All those months that I-I begged you and I-I cried. I even tried to trick you to come back to me, and finally you realize that you want me back and you come to get me and I'm- And I'm with Ric. Ok, this has gotta be a joke. Jason, do you have any idea? Do you have any idea why I slept with Ric?"

_God, I can't think about this anymore. I did this to the two women I loved most._ "Oh. No, no, no, Sam," I lie. "And I don't-I don't wanna know."

"No, please. Jason, please. I want you to know. You have to know. I was- I was drunk, and I was really, really angry, mostly at myself for being stupid enough to believe in love. For finally letting my guard down and believing that something, as good as what we had would last when I know, I know!" She covered her mouth before forcing herself to continue. "My life has shown me over and over again that nothing ever does. So I started drinking whiskey because whiskey is my medicine. It tastes like cheap bars and bad, really, really bad choices and I deserved to go back there for being dumb enough, for being dumb enough to think that I could have anything else-that I deserved anything else."

"Did Ric force you?" I asked coldly, silently begging for some kind of reprieve from the guilt over the shambles that was once our relationship.

"It would be a lot easier for you if I said yes. And make it so that all of this happened without my consent," she answered, her eyes begging for a reprieve and some kind of understanding. "But it didn't happen that way, Jason. I mean I was drunk, but I could have said no. And if I would have left town weeks ago, I think things would have worked out a lot differently for all of us."

The conversation died shortly after that, and she left. I didn't tell her about my time with Carly because I knew Carly wouldn't want that if she was really serious about that ASS, Jax. Also, Sam would probably try to use it against Carly and blame her for "taking advantage of me". Besides, I'd hurt Sam enough. There was no point in hurting her further when she was leaving town anyway.

As my thoughts turned to Carly, I began missing her and reached for my cell phone to call her. Another knock interrupted me making me question my sudden popularity. I opened my door to find Elizabeth standing there.

"Jason, thank God, you're here. I did something and now I don't know what to do," she cried throwing herself into my arms.

"What's wrong?" I asked in shock.

"My husband is on drugs and slept with Maxie," she wailed. "And now I-I don't know what to do."

Thankfully, my cell rang. "Just a second, Liz. Morgan."

"Hey, Jase. It's Carly! The boys and I are probably half way to Africa by now, but I just wanted to remind you that you can call me anytime if you need me! No worries about last night, I'm just glad I could be there for you in your time of need. I thoroughly enjoyed it so don't stress we're fine!" There's a moment of silence. "You should talk to Sam. I'm very well-acquainted with the urge to self-destruct so don't let it ruin your chance at happiness with her like mine did with us. Anyway, your family loves you. And the boys are demanding that next time we go to Africa, you be our guide so don't you forget that you still owe us our Africa trip. Bye, Jase." And the line dies.

She must have sent it as a decoy to back me off if I hadn't called her by now. _It won't work, Carly._ I spin around to face Liz who was making herself at home. "Everything ok, Jase?" _When did she start calling me that?_

"It's Jason, not Jase," I snap. "Sorry. I gotta go. It's important."

"Oh! Ok," she said in shock as I rushed her out. "I'll see you lat—"

I close the door, already forgetting her as I grab my leather jacket. I smile at the memory of Carly giving it to me for my birthday after giving me another for Christmas only a month earlier.

_She rolled her eyes and sighed. "Duh, Jason. You need one for the winter and one for when the weather gets better." When I continued to frown in confusion, she continued, "The one I gave you for Christmas is a winter-weight leather. It's nice and thick and durable and good for most of fall, all of winter, and the beginning of spring. This one is just as durable, but it's light enough for those cool spring and summer nights when you need to ride to clear your head." I gave her a look. "And don't bother asking how I know you still go for rides occasionally or I'll ask you how you know to keep my favorite beer and frozen pizzas stocked for the next time I come over to fall apart in your arms. Now, stop arguing, try it on, and tell me how much you love it."_

_I smirk as I pull on the jacket. Once again, it's a perfect fit. "It's nice. Thanks."_

_She beamed with delight the same way she did the day I gave her her first set of diamonds. "You're welcome," she replied happily. "Tell me I don't know you and what you need better than anyone, including you sometimes." I raised an eyebrow at her. "Jase!" she demanded with a pout and a whine when I hesitated. I nodded and she grinned adjusting my new jacket, pausing longing enough to drop a kiss on my cheek. "And don't you forget it," she quipped eyes twinkling._

I threw it on, grabbed my cell and my keys, and headed for my bike. I obviously needed to get away from the distractions that would stand in the way of the conversation we needed to have. On the ride down to the garage, I called Bernie, "Hey, I have to take care of a few things and I am not to be disturbed until I call you back. Good." I hung up already having an idea of where to go for this conversation.

This ride is a short one and I pull my bike out of sight to avoid prying eyes. "Coleman!" I call out to the empty bar. When he makes his way to the front, I continue, "Shut it down and lock every door so unless they have a room upstairs NO ONE has access. You'll receive payment when I come back down."

"You got it, Morgan," he yelled at my back as I turned to take the stairs to my old room. I had bought it and given it to Carly a few years back so only we had keys. She'd had the locks changed to specialty one of a kind keys with a lock that was unpickable. It was so Carly that I had roared with laughter when she gave me mine on another _Jason_ keychain. I remember sobering when she told me that since I gave Lila my old one she felt she should replace it.

I stared at the bed for a moment remembering every time we'd made love there without ever realizing how important we would be to each other. If sex with Carly in the beginning was still the best of my life, the night before had completely eclipsed it. A feat I had believed to be impossible. I pulled out my cell phone, found the number I was looking for and dialed. When I heard her breathing, I spoke before she could, "Why?"


	4. Chapter 4: Doing the Healthy Thing

**Author's Note:** Thanks to all you loyal followers! I was planning for the next installment of FC to come first, but those nutty Quartermaines are making life much too difficult. So here's the next installment of WHITD, instead. FC shouldn't be far behind. Warning: This is the Carly from 2006… She's still pretty fresh from Roselawn and has been seeing Lainey regularly. So her head is full of psychobabble on healthy and unhealthy relationships. Tell me what you think. Love you all and ENJOY!

**What Happens in The Dark**

_Great. Just great._ Of all of the questions I was prepared to answer, that one word was nowhere on the list. _How could I respond without lying or screwing up?_ Because of all the men in the entire world, he was the one she couldn't—no, wouldn't ever lie to. "Why what?" I answered as nonchalantly as possible, hoping he would back down like he usually did when things got too hard or too emotionally complicated between us.

"Carly," he replied flatly. "Now is not the time for me to be taking a trip, but I will take the next fastest flight to Africa after if I have to, but we ARE having this conversation. So quit trying to evade the question, be the fearless Carly I know and love, and tell me the truth: Why?"

"Why not?" I hissed, annoyed by the cool demand in his tone. _Why am I always the only one who has to feel so much? Why am I always the only one who had to bare myself heart and soul?_ "You're in love with her, Jason. She makes you happy when you're not pushing her away to punish you both. You still have her clothes hanging up in your closet and neatly folded up in your drawers. You've just been waiting for someone to convince you to do what you wanted to do anyway. Why would I stand in your way? So she did the most self-destructive thing she could think of, so what? I know it hurt because I could feel it. I knew you needed me and I was there. You needed to be reminded that someone loved every part of you through thick and thin. I knew I could give you that so I did. And I did it with no strings attached. I made it so you could deal with the pain, but I did not try to trick you or manipulate you or make you love more than you could. I didn't take advantage of you. I've learned my lesson. What more do you want from me, Jason? Now you can deal with your feelings for Sam and get back together and be happy."

"Carly," he tried to have his say.

"No!" I cried fighting tears. "Hold on, Jase." I suddenly noticed Michael & Morgan looking at me with concern and I tried to get up and move, forgetting the cord for a moment. I gave them my best smile in an effort to provide reassurance. "Leticia, could you take the boys to the back so they can hang in the bedroom. Maybe you guys should get a nap in I'd hate for you to be jetlagged when we touch down in Africa." Michael tried to stare me down stubbornly crossing his arms over his chest. God, when he isn't trying to be like Sonny, he is just the spitting image of his real father: Jason. Sometimes it was like the worst kind of pain to know I'm the reason he'll forever be relegated to Uncle Jason. "Now, Michael. That was not a request, so your response was not optional. Now go." Leticia led them out of the cabin with an encouraging smile for me and closed the door.

"Jase? Ok. Look. I love you. Every part of me loves every part of you. And I think I've proven that. I've stood by you through everything. I have never cared who you've shot or killed. I was there for you every time you were ever shot or hurt whether you were in the hospital or anywhere else. It doesn't matter if you forced me to watch you and your parade of pseudo-saintly pixie princesses fall in and out of love or lust or whatever. I stick by you. I forgave you for helping Sonny take my kids away after _he_ shot _me_. I even forgave you for lying to me to my _face_ about Sonny's baby, then falling in love with that woman after she helped wreck my marriage by sleeping with my husband and getting pregnant with his _child_. There is nothing you have done or been that I haven't loved and supported you through, Jase.

"You are my other half, and if I thought there was the smallest chance we could be together and make it work without me wrecking you... God, Jason, don't you know I would remake heaven into hell and I would fight for us to the ends of the Earth and back without hesitation? I wouldn't care what it took or the wreckage I had to leave in my wake, if it meant I got to be happy with you & our kids in the end.

"But I've realized that some dreams are not meant to be for me. And this is just a fantasy that I can never have because I _will_ hurt you. And then I'll lose you completely and forever. And I can accept _anything_, but losing you or my kids. Haven't you figured out by now the real reason I lost my mind? I was teetering for a while. Then you started slipping away. At first, I just thought you were mad at me for fighting with Sam. Then, the feeling got worse. I started trying to go back to Sonny because then you wouldn't be mad at me anymore. I just needed to fix the family you wanted me to give Michael and Morgan. I was so sure if I could just make things work with Sonny you could forgive me like every other time. Then, I had that fight with Charlotte or Reese or whatever... And you were there and you got me away. And I thought I was finally gonna be ok, you know. I would turn to my safe place and everything would turn out ok.

"I was falling like never before so I looked into your eyes begging you to catch me as I fell. But do you know what I saw? _Nothing._ Jase, you were gone along everything I'd ever been able to count on. I saw emptiness where _we_ used to be. I saw fear, confusion, and loss. You did your best to help me. I know that. Whatever you felt for me that was left tried to help me, but it didn't matter because the bottom had just dropped out of my world. You didn't love me anymore. You weren't gonna catch me when I needed you the most. _My_ Jason was gone. Nothing has ever scared me more than that. I just shattered into so many pieces I wasn't sure I could ever find them all, let alone put myself back together. It was like trying to get out of that hole we fell in after the train crash. As hard as I tried to climb out, I kept sliding back down. Only I fell farther and farther each time because you weren't there to catch me."

"But, Carly, you're strong. You worked hard and you got better," he whispered brokenly.

"I almost didn't. I almost couldn't. You know what's really ironic? If not for Manny & the crash, it might not have happened at all. That's how I got me back. Manny came and threatened you and the boys. Then, there you were to warn me. I was afraid to look at you, but I could feel you coming back. Maybe not all of the memories, but the love and the connection were there again. I knew right then, I would make it. If you could find your way back to me from that void, even without remembering everything, then I could make it back, too. But first, I had to help my family. My kids needed us. So I figured I would need to go and get strong so I _could_ protect my family. So I did what I thought was right and I planned to leave so I could get strong again like I did when Michael was born. Besides, with me gone, there was one less target for Manny to use against you and you could focus on protecting the kids.

"Then, the crash happened. And I got you back. The moment you looked into my eyes and knew me, I got me back. I still had to get some things straight in my head where Sonny was concerned, but I was sane again and that meant everything was gonna be ok. I swore to God that I would never ask for more from you again if I got you back. So like I told you in that hotel room, I will settle for being your best friend.

"I will even support your relationship, but I need to be loved, too. Jason, I need someone to look at me the way you did last night when it was just you and me. I knew for the first time in my life what it was like to have someone give you their everything and to be their whole world. You're the only man who has ever given me that. No past to muddy the waters. No hesitations. Just love. You're the only man who has ever looked at me with that fairytale kind of forever love in his eyes. Last night, I got to make love to my best friend and catch him when he was falling. We gave each other a gift. For me, it was a gift without measure. I found that having tasted that, I need it more than I ever imagined. And I deserve to be loved like that—without qualifications or fear. I refuse to taint that gift by asking for more."

"What if I want you to?" he whispered emotionally.

Why would he say that? My heart contracted in my chest. "What?" I asked feeling dizzy.

"What if I want you to ask for more? What if I realized that I knew you could destroy me because your love powerful thing in this world? What if I said experiencing last night made me realize what an idiot I've been to fear something so incredible? What if I told you Sam is leaving town and even if she wasn't, I would choose you?" I began hyperventilating. "Breathe, baby. Deep breaths, Carly," he crooned coaching me through my breathing.

Listening to his voice helped me calm my breathing. "Bu-but you don't believe in what ifs and you've never believed us. You believe in your little pixie princesses. You know your little Snow White-wannabe of the moment, like Robin and Liz. Hell even Sam fits the mold. Petite, brunette, sugary sweet, delicate, and with victim tattooed to their foreheads, waiting for you to come and save them from everything. Hell even Courtney was more like them than me. Although, Sam may be the least like them in some ways, but she still fits your Snow White theme. Now, me. I guess I'd be Cinderella, but I don't get the prince I want no matter how many obstacles I manage to overcome. So I'm going to try for the one who wanted me."

"I want you, Carly. I choose you," he promised.

"For a night!" I whimpered.

"For a lifetime," he swore, "if you'll have me, Carly. Please just give me a chance to love you like I always should have. You've trusted me with everything else. Please, Carly, trust me with your heart."

"No," she whispered brokenly. "You love—you're in love with Sam. You can't just love on and off. I should know I've been in love with you since the day we met! I won't be your rebound, Jase. My heart can't take it. If we were to finally try, I would need to know that we could have everything we ever dreamed. I would need to know that I'd have all of you with no doubts, no hesitations, no questions, and no threats from the past that could come to blow us out of the water. So I'm going to go after Jax and you are going to go back to Sam. If you be sure that it is over between you, I mean genuinely over with no residual feelings, lingering looks, or last kisses goodbye… if you can tell me that you're not going to want her back or to give Little Lizzy a try or whatever pixie crosses our path… then and only then would I be willing to try. But you would have to be more sure of this than anything you've ever done, sure enough to convince me that you have no doubts. Because once I—once you do this, there will be no turning back. It needs to be us focused on forever. I couldn't handle anything less."

"I'm sorry I've made you doubt me and that I've wasted so much time. Just don't give up on our little blonde blue-eyed girl because you've made me see her. And I want to watch you growing bigger and more beautiful with her everyday. I want her and I want my family back. I want my son back and to help raise my stepson. More than anything though, I want you so I'm going to prove to you from this second on that I can and will gives us both that dream. I love you, Carly."

"I love you, too, Jase," I whispered to the dial tone. "Oh, please God say I've done the right thing. I want so badly to believe him. He's all I've ever wanted." I force myself out of my seat and into the bathroom, praying that I've done the right thing for our future—the healthy thing. "Please, God, don't let me have ruined everything. I can't lose Jason."

**~TO BE CONTINUED~**


	5. Chapter 5: Dealing With What Matters

**Author****'****s ****Note:** Thanks to all you loyal followers! Here's the next installment of WHITD. Sorry for the hiatus... Been having muse issues. There should only a couple more chapters on this one. Special thanks to Gallega97 for stepping in to beta this chapter... I couldn't get the editing right for some reason. Tell me what you think. Love you all and ENJOY!

**What Happens in The Dark**

_One month later…_

I sat and watched the people who went by as I waited. Some people took their time, prepared for any changes they would encounter along the way to their destinations. Those people had arrived early plotted their course carefully and planned for every possible detour. Airport security? An extra 15 minutes and thick socks. Boisterous children and even noisier adult passengers? Earplugs or headsets with the background sounds set to suit their preferences. Hungry? Snacks in their carryon. Delayed flight? Books, magazines, and/or even a blanket to catch some rest depending on the length of the delays. They were determined to let nothing stand in the way of the goal.

Others passing seemed to be in more of a rush to get to their goal. They were seemingly shocked and upset with every deterrent from their goal. They ended up bouncing around, trying to fulfill each new need with a sense of annoyance instead of acceptance that it was a part of their journey and never learning to do better. Then, there were the travelers who seemed to embody a little of both. Not quite prepared for every change, but taking what they don't foresee in stride. It was fascinating, and made me wonder where the lesson might be hiding in my observations, but people watching was not at all why I had come to the airport today.

I checked my watch realizing they would land soon and stood making my way to the gate set aside for those arriving by private jet. I chuckled to myself at her blatant attempt to avoid him by not using the organization's plane. She had thought renting a private plane would be enough to keep me from being there waiting for her upon her arrival, but she'd forgotten about Spinelli in her efforts to make a stealthier reappearance in Port Charles.

So there I stood, anxiously awaiting seeing my best friend, Carly. I had missed Carly with every fiber of my being during the month we had spent apart for a month. One of the longest months of his life. Daily phone calls couldn't begin to fill the void, especially since she refused to deal with anything real. I would talk to her about Spinelli's exploits and reassure her that everything was running smoothly with the business, but if I tried to discuss anything deeper, she'd start talking about the boys and how much they were enjoying the trip. The one time I'd really pressed the issue she'd hung up on me and refused to answer any of my phone calls. It took ten redials before she answered the phone and I told her I wouldn't bring anything up to her until we were face-to-face. I missed my Carly and our boys, but they were almost home, I just had to wait a little longer. Spinelli assured me he'd call when their flight landed.

With nothing to do but wait, my mind drifted to all I'd accomplished in the month she'd been gone. I had used the time to do some serious soul searching and in that time, I realized what an emotional coward I had been. I had taken every opportunity to run and/or bury my feelings that came my way. It wasn't something I came to all at once. It all started with that phone call when Carly walked away. After checking in with Bernie, and handling a few things at work, I needed to get away to think. I hopped onto my bike and rode for hours. I was shocked when I ended up at Queen of Angels. I don't know why I went there or what I was looking for, but I ran into Father Anthony. He was simply sitting there beside me in silence, when I suddenly found myself pouring out my entire life's story.

I'll never know why, but I'll always be glad I did. After that, he began working with me to deal with my past so I wouldn't lose my second chance at a future. So we came up with a plan of attack. I would need to clear things up from my past and the only way to do that would be to talk to the people with the greatest impact on me emotionally. It quickly became clear that I needed to start at the beginning with the person who set my emotion dysfunction in motion. The first person I trusted after the accident.

Robin.

I came to understand that with her help, I had placed her on a pedestal consequently assuring I'd never be able to relate to anyone emotionally after her. Together we had made her my ideal and when my ideal failed, I had no way to cope with women after her. So I went to her and asked her for some time to talk about a few things. She of course was quick to say yes.

"_Robin, there's a few things I feel I never dealt with, and I just want to get a few things off my chest, ok?" I started honestly._

"_Ok, Jason," Robin replied with a soft smile. "You know you can always talk to me about anything."_

"_Let me start by saying I'm trying to forgive you for destroying my life," I began, but she immediately gasped her eyes widening. "I loved you for a very long time, even when I wanted to hate you, but it's finally clear to me that I allowed you to dictate my feelings for too long so that you believed you could do or say anything without consequences. I apologize for giving you that kind of power over my life. But what I really need to know is why you felt you had the right to tell AJ the truth about my son."_

"_Jason," she began in the same soft, instructional voice that had held me in line for so long._

"_No, Robin, be real. I'm not here to play games and I'll never be able to forgive you until I know the truth and not your manipulative version. If it had meant that much to you, you would have told the truth long before Carly returned from her time away with postpartum depression. I need the real truth."_

"_Jason, I—" she started to speak when her eyes met mine. "I don't know. I always believed AJ had a right to know and try to be a father to his child. But I watched you, and you were so in love with him, from the day you took him home from the hospital. And as much as it hurt me to keep that secret, I wasn't willing to hurt you. The more time I spent with you and Michael, the more I fell in love with him and I fell in love with you all over because the boy I loved with all the sweetness of youth had become a man I could imagine a future with. Then, Carly was back. And you actually looked right past me as if I didn't exist. I think I was afraid she was brainwashing you into thinking you loved her because of her son."_

"_I was in love with Carly," I admitted. "But you were the one who taught me what love was supposed to be, so I had no reason to believe that the intense feelings I had for her were anything more. That's why always I pushed her away, especially after you betrayed me… if I couldn't trust the woman I loved who was stable and honest, what hope was there for me and Carly."_

"_Jason, I know you thought at one point that you loved her, but you can't possibly—"_

"_I know what I feel and felt now, so don't bother with that again if you want us to come out of this conversation on any type of good terms. Now you were explaining why you felt you had the right to break up my family." I had been shocked by her reaction._

"_It was my family first!" she burst out in hurt and anger before she even realized what she was saying. When she realized what she'd revealed, she quickly tried to take it back. "I didn't mean—"_

"_Yes, you did," I said cutting her off. "Thank you for finally being honest with me. After all these years, it finally makes sense. You always said it was because it was the right thing, AJ had rights, and Carly would never be able to use Michael to manipulate me, but it was always because you didn't want her to have your family if you couldn't. You knew if you didn't say something, we would have been together as a family. I never would have gone back to you if I was with Carly and Michael. I guess you took it for granted that without Carly and Michael, I would have to come back to you. You were wrong."_

"_Jason," she tried again._

"_I think I can finally forgive you, Robin," I explained, "because if I don't, I'll never move on. Goodbye, Robin." I stood and walked away feeling lighter and stronger, and more sure of myself than I had in years._

I smiled to myself thinking about how successful that had been. Since that day, she had been careful of me if I was ever in the vicinity. I chuckled remembering. There had only been four names on my list considering Courtney's passing—although their relationship had been the only one I had dealt with cleanly already, so she wouldn't have made the list anyway. But I was feeling positive since the first had been so much easier than I had ever hoped. The plan was for me to go to Sam next.

Since I didn't feel the need to talk about the revelations with Robin, I called Sam to schedule some time to talk. She had been eager to talk about us and our relationship. Hearing her talk just over the phone so excited and full of hope, I realized yet another reason why Carly felt so insecure. With so many women jumping at the chance to be there for me, it was only a short leap to think that if things ever got bad between us again they might be there waiting to pick up the pieces. It was a lot of outside pressure to put on a relationship that would already have a lot to deal with and work through from the inside.

_Sam had been waiting at the penthouse before I could even get back. She seemed to be all too anxious for him to arrive. When he walked in it was to find her talking to Spinelli, "And we're gonna needs some time to talk things out, but hopefully I'll be moving home before the day is out."_

Great._I__pinched__the__bridge__of__my__nose__and__let__the__door__close__audibly__before__she__could__continue.__She__spun__around__to__face__me__doing__a__terrible__job__of__hiding__the__hope__shining__in__her__eyes.__I__avoided__her__eyes__and__looked__at__Spinelli.__ "__Hey,__Spinelli.__I__need__you__to__track__Carly__and__the__boy__'__s__as__well__as__Jax__'__s__movements__in__Africa.__I__'__ll__be__sending__protection__for__them__and__they__'__ll__need__as__much__information__to__keep__a__discreet__eye__on__them.__"_

"_As the Master wills," Spinelli replies hopping from foot to foot looking back and forth between us._

"_Now, Spinelli," I said with emphasis._

"_Oh, right!" he said scurrying to grab his laptop and hurry up the stairs._

_I sighed as I watched the young man disappear up the staircase. I took the opportunity to remove my jacket to while I tried to collect my thoughts._

"_I was so glad you called Jason," she began. "We have so much to talk about if we're gonna make this relationship work and put all of the bad stuff in the past._

Of course, this would have to be the difficult conversation_,__I__thought.__ "__There__are__definitely__some__things__we__need__to__get__clear__and__I__definitely__want__to__do__it__right__away.__"_

_When she would have taken a step toward me, I held up my hand to stop her. "Sam," I sighed sadly. Hurting her was not what I had wanted, but it was clear that I wasn't going to be given a choice. "I didn't call you here about getting back together."_

"_Then why?" she asked her voice trembling._

"_I called you here because I thought we could maybe get some closure and move on," I explained as gently as I knew how. "I don't want to hurt you, Sam. I never did, but the reason we worked had a lot to do with your daughter and she's gone now. I believe I was wrong to break up with you because of the danger in my life."_

"_But not to break up?" she asked desperately. "Jason, we fell in love. You can't tell me that that just went away because I made a mistake! Is this because I can't get pregnant anymore?"_

"_This is not your fault, Sam. And you should know better than anyone that biology means nothing to me," I tried to reassure her. "I believed I was in love with you and while I have deep feelings for you and always will, it wouldn't be fair to either of us to try to make this about more than it really is. We fell in love with the idea of being a family, but one thing I know about myself is that if I was really in love with you, I could never have pushed you away the way I did. Not even as afraid as I was for your life."_

"_You wanted me to be safe, Jason," she reiterated. "And I get that, I do, but you would have come back to me. You did, so you can't tell me that suddenly it isn't true."_

"_Sam, listen to me." I pulled on my hair and began pacing to release the frustration that was building. "I like you, Sam. I could see us maybe being friends, but I'm not in love with you. I'm not trying to pull a fakeout to get you to back so I can change my mind later. And I could have done so many things different if all I wanted was for you to be safe. I could have left town. I could have sent you to a safe house. And I didn't. Safety was the excuse, but not the reason."_

"_But you wanted me back, Jason," she whimpered the tears flowing freely. "You came for me."_

"_I did," I agreed, "because Carly convinced me that it would hurt you to lose me and I'd already caused you to be hurt enough. I let myself believe it was more than it was. Because I may love you and like you as a friend, but I'm not in love with you, Sam. I'm so sorry."_

"_You called me here to ask if we could be friends?" she asked incredulously._

_I simply nodded in response._

"_I don't know if I can be your friend when I'm still in love with you, Jason," she sobbed quietly. "I'd like to say that I can, but—and I will deny this if you repeat it—I'm not as good a person as Carly. I don't think I can just be your friend. I have to get out of here!"_

_And then she was gone._

"Uncle Jason!" I saw the boys racing towards me, and I immediately swept them into my arms. "Are you really ok? Momma, said she took care of you and you were all better but then we heard her getting upset on the phone and Jax was so stupid—"

"Your mom took the best care of me, guys. Better than anyone else ever has," I reassured the boys with a smile. "As a matter of fact, I wouldn't mind her taking care of me more often. Do you think we could talk her into that?"

Their eyes met filled with heat and longing as they remembered their night together almost exactly a month ago. I stood and walked over to her sweeping her into my arms. "I missed you, Carly," I said before letting my voice drop to a whisper. "Don't ever leave me again, baby. I hated sleeping without you next to me. That's where you belong you know that, don't you?"

I took the opportunity to nibble her earlobe surreptitiously so as not to shock the boys.

"Oh, my—" she moaned then continued breathlessly, "What are you doing, Jase?"

"Jax had his turn," I growled. "Now, I'm staking my claim."

I felt her knees go weak and smiled until I noticed she had dropped everything she'd been holding and was dead weight in my arms. "Carly!" I snapped in alarm realizing she had fainted in my arms.

**~TO BE CONTINUED~**


	6. Chapter 6: Life Changes Unexpectedly

**Author****'****s ****Note:** Thanks to all you loyal followers! Here's the next installment of WHITD. My muse really seems to be flowing on this right now so I'm going with it while it lasts... hopefully through to the end. This one is a little on the short side. Also the muse has moved to third person POV for at least this and likely the next chapter... That may continue through to the end, but I'm not sure yet. As usual, I'm following the whim of the me what you think. Love you all and ENJOY!

**What Happens in The Dark**

"Come on, baby. That's it," his voice reassured her.

Jason Morgan had never been so glad he'd followed his instincts and brought extra guards to pick them up at the airport. He had left the boys with Mercedes and a couple of guards at the airport with Carly's SUV. Fortunately, he hadn't sent the limo away.

"That's right, Carly," he whispered gently as the limo raced through the streets of Port Charles toward General Hospital. "Come on, baby. I need to see those beautiful brown eyes."

"Jase?"

Jason felt himself calming at the sound of her voice calling his name. "You passed out at the airport. But we're on the way to the hospital now."

"The boys—"

"Are fine. Mercedes is with them and they're gonna take your SUV from long-term. And I have a couple of guards on them," he calmly explained before allowing some of the need to enter his voice. "They know that I'm gonna take care of you just like you did for me before they left for Africa. Relax. We're pulling up now."

"Oh, Jase," she sighed trying to mask her nerves. "I'm fine. I'm just tired and a little dehydrated. The food at the last place we stayed didn't sit well. That's all. I don't need to go to the hospital."

"You should have said something sooner," he said waiting for the limo to pull to a stop. "Oh, wait. You were unconscious."

"Ja-ase," she whined.

"Ca-arly," he mimicked.

"Since when do you have a sense of humor?" she grumbled as she tried to hide her laughter while allowing him to help her out of the limo.

He grinned down at her. "We'll talk to a doctor, get you checked out, and be out of here in no time."

"You promise?"

"Carly, I've missed you so much," he whispered into her ear desperately. "I can't wait until I can have you all to myself, baby. So as soon as the doctor tells me I can take you out of here" he paused "Without prompting from you, we'll get out of here."

She nodded, glancing at him nervously. "You sure have changed a lot. You seemed determined to talk and it's usually like pulling teeth to get you to open up."

"You're one to talk. Or at least you were. I've been trying to talk to you for a month and you always change the subject or hang up on me lately. But now you'll be all mine and no one can stop me from telling you everything you need to hear. What I should have told you a very long time ago."

Her voice was shaking as she trying to avoid his heated blue gaze, very unsuccessfully. "Oh? Wonder what that could be."

"I see you're back and you've already managed to sink your claws into Jason," a voice snarled from out of her line of sight.

Carly's head snapped up to look at Jason, whose expression showed a flash of disgust and annoyance before becoming its usual stoic mask. Her eyes widened with surprise for a second before she turned to look at the owner of the voice. "Excuse me?"

"Back off, Liz," Jason said coldly before either woman could say another word. "I thought we were clear after our talk."

"Jason," she whined sweetly rounding her eyes as if hurt by his dismissal. "She'll hurt you just like she did so many times before and I don't want that to happen to you. You're my friend and I—she's just got you so blinded to her tricks. I haven't forgotten all the things she's done to hurt you and I can't understand how you could have either."

"Jason and I are best friends and you have no say in that," Carly snarled unable to keep her mouth shut any longer. "As for what we have or have not done to or for each other, that's between me and Jason. I've told you before little girl, you need to learn to butt out. Aren't you married to my cousin? Maybe if you spent half as much time being a wife to him as you do trying to police a so-called _friend_'s love life, he might not be spending his time with the teenyboppers like Maxie Jones."

Carly felt the rumble of barely contained laughter as Jason held her closer. Her head shot up as she caught what looked like a glint of humor and not of the usual censure for her vicious response.

"You're just so jealous and desperate it's pathetic, Carly," Liz snarled. "You refuse to see that he doesn't want you, but you still scheme and lie to get him to be with you. If killing Sonny's baby wouldn't make him go back to you, what makes you think breaking up with Sam would finally do the trick?"

As Carly froze in shock at hearing the old taunt, Jason's entire body began radiating fury. "What did you say?"

"Jason!" she gasped at the rage and disgust that turned his voice frigid. "You heard what she said to me. I—"

"You just sank lower than dirt," he responded his eyes lightening until they looked like chips of ice as they glared into Liz's. "I always wondered why Carly hated you. I put it down to jealousy over the way things ended for us. She tried to tell me how hateful you are, but I refused to listen. More fool me. Don't let me see you near Carly or the kids again and don't bother coming near me again either. Consider any association we have ever had at an end. Let's go, Carly."

Carly nodded dumbly for a moment as she let him lead her away. Suddenly she stopped turning her head in her direction. "You know, I thought you had grown up a little. I mean, you're a mom and someone's wife, but you're still that spiteful little girl playing at being more. Maybe you should grow up a little before you lose everyone who was ever interested in being around you."

As soon as she finished speaking, Carly turned her head back around and let Jason lead her over to the nurse's station and Epiphany.

Neither noticed or cared that Liz just continued to stand there frozen in shame and sadness as she watched them with tears pouring down her face.

* * *

><p>They maintained a comfortable silence until her exam was complete. As they sat waiting for a doctor to return with her test results, Carly found she couldn't hold her tongue any longer. "So…"<p>

Jason raised his eyebrow refusing to break his silence to do more than repeat after her. "So."

"That was interesting," Carly continued, her curiosity burning to know more while her fears argued the wisdom of maintaining the status quo. "The conversation with Liz. It was different, and enlightening."

"Which part?" Jason asked finally feeling the need to speak. "The part where I finally proved I deserved your loyalty all these years by sticking up for you? Or the part where I acknowledged that you were right all along? Or maybe the part where you admitted that my love life includes you?"

"Mostly the first two," she said as nonchalantly as she could manage while avoiding Jason's gaze. "But also the fact that you and Sam are still over. I figured you would have worked things out while I was in Africa with the boys."

"We did," he assured her taking her hand and bringing it to his mouth. "We just realized that things working out for us didn't necessarily mean we would end up together like before."

"Oh, really?" Carly replied shakily as he began kissing his way up her arm to the sensitive spot behind her ear. "So ho-ho-how would you describe your relationship now compared to then?"

The sound of the door opening was all the warning they got before a beautiful Asian woman in a white lab coat entered. "Mrs. Corinthos?"

"Yes," she squeaked trying not to blush like a teenager caught making out on their parent s couch. "That's me, but I prefer to go by Benson or Spencer now. Hell, even Roberts would be better than that. But feel free to call me Carly. Much easier."

"All right, Carly," she chuckled having caught the cause of the sexual tension in the room. "I'm Dr. Lee. And as soon as the results came back, your file was forwarded to me. Sorry for the delay. I caught this case on my way out of another patient's room."

"You said you had my case passed to you?" Carly interjected reaching for Jason's hand, which was already reaching for hers. "What's wrong?"

"This is sensitive information, Carly," she began carefully, glancing at Jason. "Are you sure you're comfortable—"

Carly frowned then looked at Jason before turning back to Dr. Lee. "Jason is going to privy to whatever this is either way. I trust him with my life and all of my secrets. So just tell us."

"Well, I'm showing some signs of dehydration and I'm assuming the prenatal vitamin I'm prescribing should help with the rest of our areas of concerns until you move past the morning sickness, and can keep down regular meals—"

"Prenatal?" Carly mumbled in shock as she tried to stand. "I just thought it was the food. Are you saying—"

"That's right," she acknowledged with a smile. "Congratulations are in order. In eight months, you will be welcoming a beautiful baby boy or girl into this world."

**~TO BE CONTINUED~**


	7. Chapter 7: Resolving the Unresolved

**Author's Note:**_Ok, so this is the last full chapter after THIS is the epilogue and DONE! Thanks SO much for really STICKING with me on this one! Hugs and kisses, Jarly fans!_

_Toni_

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter 7: <span>**Resolving the Unresolved

Carly's eyes flew to Jason, who became her whole world so that not even Dr. Lee excusing herself from the room penetrated. Jason's eyes were blazing with emotion and focused on her flat belly. Carly felt completely numb as she watched him intently. She knew he seemed excited—and that she should be, too, but she couldn't seem to react… until his hand reached out and gently began caressing her stomach.

"Hi sweetie," he whispered reverently. "Hi, Jake. Your mommy and I just can't wait to meet you, baby girl."

"Jake?" she gasped, her lips trembling as the name began breaking through the shock and the first tear fell.

"Yeah," he acknowledged meeting her teary gaze with one of his own. "You always said you wanted us to have a little girl with blonde curls, my blue eyes, and the name of Jake. I guess I just—"

"I love you," she declared urgently as she reached out to caress his cheek all of her defenses crumbling.

"I love you too, Carly," he chuckled his eyes sparkling with joy. He dropped a long sweet kiss on her belly, before turning his attention to her tremulous mouth. "If I had any doubts left, this would have made them disappear. You're pregnant with our little girl from the first time we made love in over a decade."

"Don't tell me Jason Morgan has become superstitious?" Carly teased causing his grin to become sheepish. "But what I don't understand is h-h-how? We used all those condoms, Jase! I mean, there were a LOT of condoms."

"They're only 99.9% effective, Carly," he quipped at her dazed reaction. "Even using them every time. And she's a Spencer… even with 100% odds she could have found a way! Nothing less could ever stop our child. Right, honey?"

Carly watched Jason bonding so instantaneously with the life growing inside of her… their child and she couldn't help but smile. "Are you calling me stubborn?" she demanded with a watery chuckle. "Never mind. I already know the answer to that. It's just—I cannot **believe** I'm pregnant."

"Well, believe it," Jason snorted his eyes twinkling. "We are finally gonna have a baby together and be a family again. We're finally getting another shot at this, and I swear I will let nothing stand in our way ever again."

"Jase, I—" she attempted nervously only to be immediately cut off, her hand cupping her stomach almost protectively. His lips dropped onto hers ensuring her silence.

"Shh!" he mumbled pulling away. "We'll talk when we get back to the penthouse… so don't worry. Just enjoy our moment. Please? For me?"

"You don't play fair," she sighed disgruntledly even as a smile tugged at her lips.

"Carly, I'm not playing at all," he retorted.

"But," she continued as if never interrupted. "I guess I can wait until we're alone at your penthouse to worry."

* * *

><p>The whole ride home, Jason could practically hear the fears Carly fought to keep at bay. As he was coming to understand his past with other women, he'd also realized something key about the love of his life… she was as afraid of the good times as she was the bad. She played the optimist well, but at heart, a fear that something would always come to take away her happily ever after lurked. And with all of the bad things she'd survived—some of them his fault, he could understand why. He just hoped he could finally convince her that he was in it for the long haul. And this time, nothing short of death could change that.<p>

"I thought the deal was that you don't worry until we get to penthouse," he quipped taking her hand.

"Ok," she sighed. "You may have a point, but I never **promised** I wouldn't worry. It was more like a tacit agreement and come on. There's a lot going on. Everything is changing so fast and that's before you add in the fact that we're gonna have a baby. A baby, Jase! A little piece of you and me. I want to just shout it from the rooftops and scream hallelujah, but it's so early and you know how much trouble I've had in the past. And then there's all this STUFF to figure out between us… well, not that I'm saying we're an us like a couple, but—"

"I wouldn't mind if you did," he interjected softly.

"You wouldn't?" she whispered softly as the limo pulled into its spot in the garage.

"Carly," he growled taking her face in his hands so he could be sure she was looking at him and really see him, and not just her fears. "I love you. I'm **in** love with you. That night changed everything for me—for us. I know you got scared. And you thought you could lose me, but that's not gonna happen ever. I am in this for long haul, Carly. And if that isn't long enough, we'll find something that lasts even longer."

"I know that because of the baby, you—"

"NO," Jason snapped. "Listen to me. I am in love with you. Do you know what I did while you were gone? Besides miss you every second." She shook her head awkwardly from between his hands. "I got closure with all of the—what do call them, uh, PIXIES? Yeah, pixies. I put the past firmly behind me. I have nothing in my heart that isn't for you and our family. Part of me may care about them, because I did love them as much as I could, but that was never very much because I have been so deeply in love with you that there was never room for much else. I was stupid and blind, Carly. And I am so sorry I put you through that, but if you give me the chance, we can finally get right."

"Oh, Jase," she whimpered as she trembled from head to toe as hope fought free of fear.

"Say the words," he pleaded. "I've got your ring picked out. And I've got some houses for you to look at, with extra bedrooms just in case. I want it all. And I want it with you and only you. Say I can come home, Carly. Please."

"Yes," she cried through her tears, throwing herself into his arms and kissing his face all over. "You could always come home. I was just so scared you never would. Thank God! I was getting scared that you would make a liar out of me, but now I get to gloat. I told you we would never be over."

"Thank God you were right this time," Jason chuckled returning her kisses. "Now let's get upstairs. I want to make love to you until there are no doubts left in your mind that I am yours and we are together for good."

"I think that I can handle that," she chuckled before pulling away suddenly and jumping out of the car. "Race you to the elevator."

He grinned as she slammed the door and raced away before happily following to give chase. She made it to the elevator with only enough time to hit the up button and watch the doors opening before she was snatched up by the waist and carried inside. Carly moaned as he kissed her neck.

She turned in his arms and pulled a serious face as she took his cheeks into her hands. "There are some things that are very important that we need to talk about, right away, Jase," she said solemnly receiving his nod for her to go on she sighed. "Now, what's that you were saying about jewelry and a new home? And do you want a big, splashy spectacle of a wedding or a small, intimate family thing. Because I'm assuming that's what you were getting at. And when do I get to see my ring and pick the new house? And I can't WAIT to tell the boys and Mama and Lucas!"

"Carly," Jason sighed with a slight chuckled. "Shut up and kiss me."

"Now, that is an offer I would be stupid to ever refuse," she grinned rising to her tip toes to meet his kiss.

**~TO BE CONTINUED~**


End file.
